Iran claims to have sent a monkey into orbit and plans to put a man into space by the end of the decade.  Big news . . . except that we did it 65 years ago!  Here are the Top Signs Your Country Has a Bad Space Program.

--Instead of Roman gods, space missions are named after former members of Menudo.

--They launch ships into space with a big-ass slingshot. 

--Their mascot is a wide-eyed, terrified monkey. 

--The dashboard on the ships have three buttons:  Start.  Stop.  And Please Stop.

--Launches are scheduled for 12:05.  Mid-air explosions for 12:06.

--They don't actually launch astronauts into space.  They just lock them in a room with Gary Busey for 45 minutes. 

--The shuttle has a Calvin-peeing-on-Earth decal. 

--They get all of their info on the stars from PerezHilton.com.