Hulk Hogan has had a busy week, suing everyone involved with the release of his sex tape.  Let's see what he's doing today with the Celebrity To Do List ......

--8:10 A.M.:  Shower.  Check for video cameras first. 

--9:15 A.M.:  Tights?  Check.  Do rag?  Check.  Feather boa?  Check.  Dignity?  No check. 

--10:00 A.M.:  Remind myself never to become best friends with anyone whose name has the phrase "Love Sponge." 

--11:00 A.M.:  Make friends with new neighbor.  Have sex with his wife. 

--11:15 A.M.:  Continue to wonder why no one takes me seriously, just because I'm a 59-year-old man with bleached blond hair who insists on ripping off his shirt every chance he gets. 

--3:25 P.M.:  Pour a bottle of steroids over Macho Man's grave.  Reminisce. 

--6:00 P.M.:  Watch news.  Fake outrage after hearing more about Lance Armstrong's steroid use. 

--7:15 P.M.:  Ask Kim Kardashian how to turn an embarrassing sex tape into a multimillion-dollar empire. 

--8:00 P.M.:  Remember the '80s . . . cry.